The new shade of you

Do we really know what we are capable of? How much we can change? How much we can give in to our dark side? How cold we can be?
We always have our notions and prejudices of how things should be of how people should be and how we should be...I am sure all us have a pedestal where we keep ourselves....some might constantly try to keep themselves positive, happy by making a note of things that are good in em'...rest of us, we constantly keep criticizing ourselves.
Allot of us are self critics, we are never alone, we are always accompanied by our alter ego which keeps a track of things we did and things we did not.. and my alter ego never misses a chance to berate me.
Lately I have experienced allot of change in my life... some good some exceptionally good some excruciatingly bad....and some..some that I am unable to define.
Rack your brain a lil , look into your past...has there ever been anything in your life that you thought you could never live without and in present life you don't have an iota of emotion for it? something similar has happened to me.. I could easily let go of that one thing i thought I always wanted.. and as it turns out what i thought was incorrect. Not only can I live without it but rather I am pretty happy without it.
and life has shoved me in a corner which i never knew existed and somehow i feel at home.
There is a sense of comfort in this discomfort.
I know i am not making much sense here but the thing is the notions that we have about ourselves, the aspirations we have for ourselves, the judgments that we have made about our own selves can be wrong, very wrong. I don't know what formulas does the alter ego uses when she concludes on our behaviors and actions but there is one thing that i know now...and that is we can be extremely happy when we let go of always putting ourselves under a microscope.
How much we let go for our families, friends and mainly for the idea of how we should be...How many sacrifices we make for we think that they might be inappropriate. What if one day you wake up and realize in the constant struggle to make people around you happy you have landed up in a life that others chose for you, and you are not happy with where you are?... What if one day i do actually regret not taking the leap of faith, not letting go of my notions and not allowing myself to be free, actually free?
It is completely ok to be a lil selfish, not think about the repercussions and just let ourselves be...!
This will enable us to live a little more and perhaps just perhaps we might find something perfect for us, we never knew existed.