Let Your Soul Fly In Mystic

19 jan 2011 I was in a restaurant with a bunch of friends celebrating my best friends birthday . We were scrolling down the menu when one my friend's phone rang . He answered it then gave it to me . I knew it would be my mom. She calls my friends when I don pick up my phone , which is like all the time! I immediately took out my phone from my pocket and saw 6 missed calls . God was i dead! i answered the phone ready to be yelled at, but she did not. She asked me where was I so that she could send the driver to pick me up. Baffled i asked my mother what is it that needs me to come home immediately. She said "come home , me ur dad  granma going noida , sumit chachu jus died in a car accident". I did not say a word and hung up.  My friends started staring at me as the color drained from my face. Coming back to senses i told them of what had happened and went back home . After everyone left i sat down , i couldn't cry . It was so difficult to process it in the first place let alone react. He was hardly 30 with two daughters - 3 year old and one 1 year old. It was then when i wrote this poem .

Amidst this fast paced life
every smile has a price
we struggle , we fight
still end up with a miserable plight
the vicious circle of life and death
the fear of unknown with its wrath
the insatiable desires we have
the happiness that can only be pursued
oh , the congregation with their prayers glued
Sometimes it feels the almighty laughs in disdain
the poor man striving in vain
the psychic says its all in gloom
this life its relations all doomed
to understand this life is to cipher a thread
in mystic i lay , its the unknown i dread.


May you rest in peace 

The weird flying feeling of Love

Watched the first episode of vampire diaries for the ummm 19th time : -P . When Stefan comes to Elena's home to make sure she's fine after the Vicki Donovan incident , not just Elena but even the viewers feel the sweet vibes.!  With the soothing and lovely music of the fray (never say never) when Stef asks if she ever actually means it when she says "M ok" you feel how incredible can true love be.What is it like when you have someone who really does care for you , feels your pain more than you , and wants to know for sure that you're ok before he goes to sleep. I am a TVD freak , not just TVD but anything related to love.. be it Judith Mc.Naught novels or Nora Roberts or the obvious -Mills n Boons. Its the essence of having someone to share your life with , to have someone to hug when your world is falling apart , to be loved by someone whom you love, that is portrayed sooo beautifully in these shows that is giving them a Huge viewership.! and no ones's complaining as it kinda keeps your hopes alive!
That one day you too will find your stefan (read -damon , if ur a delena fan :P)

Not in terms with it , YET

When i was 5 i was told that we have certain numbers in mathematics to count things and these numbers start from 1. When i was 10 i was told 0 preceded 10 . I came to terms with it pretty easily. When i was 12 i realized that all i learnt was crap and there are actually infinite numbers before 0 also. In fact 1 with a - sign is greater than 2 with a - sign! I really wanted to get my tuition fee refunded from my KG teacher.

Years went by and allot of definitions changed.

Now i am 20, bit matured , bit more careful , bit more conscious of what i do how i behave, little less carefree and allot less happy than i was when i was 5.
I was surfing from one profile to another on facebook when i realized that i have one friend less than i last saw. After scanning my friend list i realized it was my friend who has a habit of deactivating and activating her account again and again. I logged out from my account put the internet to buffer on some vid my brother wanted to see and sat beside my rooms window with a pillow on my lap. I was blue, I couldn't find a single reason as to why i was unhappy. I had everything i wanted, right from my mother's recovery from a serious back injury to my latest pair of charles n keith stilettos. I felt suffocated. Like many other definitions the definition of being real has changed, being double faced has changed to being matured.
When we were young we had a group of friends and a group of "enemies" . When u did not like someone the whole class knew about it and if u ever wanted to befriend your so called enemy all u had to say was "abba".
Those were the days when all your relations were straight from your heart without any personal agendas and motives . Plain real emotions . If we loved someone we used to love them unconditionally and if we hated them we could not stand anything about them , not even their pencil box on our side of the bench. I loved it. I was very happy back then with my two best friends and 1 devil enemy (who's now my best friend!). I knew what or who gave me happiness and who did not. I knew on whom i could trust and on whom i could not. Now i have 245 friends on FB but i love 40 at most. Rest are mere X-classmates X-hostel mates Gym friends and some college mates. There are for sure atleast 20 people i hate. I still am friends with them , hangout with them , call them with their silly nick names. The fact irritates me. After i spend one day with them i come home angry and upset. Why do i need to be double faced and talk to people i cant stand ? Then my insanely perfect friends tell me - that's what an adult life is all about. It is about being congenial, diplomatic and nice. Gone are the innocent days of childhood when you could wear your heart on your sleeves. Now when you call a bitch a sweety or a hon you aren't double faced rather your mature enough to understand that there is no point in spoiling relations with anyone. Just be nice and stay away , so that when you cross roads with that someone you can be cordial and seek help, if ever needed.
This makes me wonder. Why will someone who doesn't like me, be there for me in my bad times or will share my happiness?
This is one of the concepts of life that i have failed to understand in past 20 years. Maybe i'll need another 20 to come to terms with it like i did with natural numbers , whole numbers and ever confusing real numbers.....

Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam

QUOTE!

Hey folks sorry for not being able to blog from the past few days....A bit busy schedule ..Il get back soon this weekend...  Here is one of my fav quotes :

"Hard feelings, Unjust public accusations and lifelong enemies are the dues that one pays for success"-Judith Mc.Naught.

Remember :)

UTOPIA

Hi. Today I am in a bizarre mood. Bizarre because I can not put into words what I am feeling.So rather than sharing my mood , Ill tell you what I am thinking about.
I was thinking about life. No, wait i am not giving sermons , I am talking about our lives. Lets talk about it.
  Your boss took credit of the successful project you had been working day and night for? Your friend got the coolest X Box game you wanted to buy( so so badly)? Your crush finds your best friend hotter? Your husband appreciates your neighbours cooking more than yours?
Well if you have answered no to these- you gotta be kidding me.!
Today we aren't happy or satisfied with our lives. "Life sucks" is a phrase on everyone's lips these days. Our life doesn't suck, our lifestyle does.
We are always busy doing things that are either materialistic or senseless like downloading songs, surfing the net, chatting with unknown people, working , and if not these- cursing our lives.
Instead of these, think of some moments. When you weren't prepared for an exam and it gets postponed. When you wanted to kick someone hard and your friend does that. Your first kiss , Your moms hug, Your dads pat on your shoulder when you made him proud. When you were tired of searching a song on your playlist and you hear it playing on the radio in the next room. When you were eagerly waiting for someone to text and his/her name flashes on your mobile screen.When you click on snooze and sleep for extra ten minutes. Watching your favourite movie cuddled in a cozy quilt sipping coffee with your loved one. Returning  home from an excruciatingly hectic day and find your spouse waiting for you at the doorstep, and your baby rushes towards you to get a hug. When you enter the class and look around to see your crush and then you smile finding him/her sitting in the corner with his/her friends. Twenty seven calls and thirty two messages on your Bday at 12 A.M .
Happiness lies in such moments , not in buying a new car or cruising around the world. Happiness lies in buying your friends favourite flavour of ice cream and teasing him by licking it , refusing to share.It lies in walking in rain barefooted with your hands interlaced with your beloved. It lies in the warmth of your moms hug that assures you that there's someone you can always return  to. It lies in the pillow fights with your sibling.
So, Stop doing things that don't matter. Switch off your laptops. Go give your parents a hug, Irritate the shit out of your friends or play with your dog.
Utopia lies in these moments.
Make each day, each moment count.

DO ONLY DEVILS WEAR PRADAS? ?

Yesterday as i was enjoying my evening with a couple of friends i saw an auto-rickshaw driver wearing an Ed Hardy shirt. While i was admiring the imitation gaping and thinking how much it looked like an original , My friend commented- “These cheap imitations disgust me, Now i think twice before buying an Ed Hardy or a reebok. What if me and my driver wear  the same tee.!?” All of us laughed along with her.
Later at night lying on my bed, i found myself contemplating her comment. What is this Branding all about? Paying thousands of bucks for a Dior handbag or another pair of jimmy choos-is it a luxurious habit or another attempt to satisfy human ego? Is it out of inferiority complex that we consider adidas superior to lakhani? If not then why do I find people,including myself, spending thousands for a branded shoe when the same can be bought for few hundreds manufactured by a local company. Why is it that Loreal has more sale in India then our own veeko bajradanti?If  Nina Ricci smells exquisite does zatak smell any bad?
People say its the quality of these brands that justifies their cost. As a matter-of-fact could a denim fabric we wear be as costly as 3000/sq. metre? The stitching cost may be around some 500 which is an over estimation already. In total how can a jeans be as costly as 10 thousand? Its that label for which we pay. The crocodile logo of lacoste costs more than the product itself. If one’s purse has a CDR sign or a school bag with a puma on it-OMG The person has class.! If that was the case then  the second richest of the world warren buffet apparently is class-less.
We are trapped  in a rat race. We meet people interact with them , notice the labels they wear and out of the normal human tendency to outshine others we try making ourselves superior-how?- better labels.! once we find ourselves donning the costliest stuff amongst our friend group, life acquaints us with someone wearing costlier brands, hence repeating the rat race. The only way to get out of this tiring rat race is to ask yourself what are we paying for? or better whom are we paying for?
Inundated with such variable thoughts I found myself laughing. Are we not marketing their product wearing their logos? Yes, perhaps  we are actually helping them to market their company or their name. Instead of  we paying for their brand they should pay us for donning a piece of clothing or accessory with their logos, helping their promotion.
Its time we realise the value of money and put it to something more worthwhile.