The new shade of you

Do we really know what we are capable of? How much we can change? How much we can give in to our dark side? How cold we can be?
We always have our notions and prejudices of how things should be of how people should be and how we should be...I am sure all us have a pedestal where we keep ourselves....some might constantly try to keep themselves positive, happy by making a note of things that are good in em'...rest of us, we constantly keep criticizing ourselves.
Allot of us are self critics, we are never alone, we are always accompanied by our alter ego which keeps a track of things we did and things we did not.. and my alter ego never misses a chance to berate me.
Lately I have experienced allot of change in my life... some good some exceptionally good some excruciatingly bad....and some..some that I am unable to define.
Rack your brain a lil , look into your past...has there ever been anything in your life that you thought you could never live without and in present life you don't have an iota of emotion for it? something similar has happened to me.. I could easily let go of that one thing i thought I always wanted.. and as it turns out what i thought was incorrect. Not only can I live without it but rather I am pretty happy without it.
and life has shoved me in a corner which i never knew existed and somehow i feel at home.
There is a sense of comfort in this discomfort.
I know i am not making much sense here but the thing is the notions that we have about ourselves, the aspirations we have for ourselves, the judgments that we have made about our own selves can be wrong, very wrong. I don't know what formulas does the alter ego uses when she concludes on our behaviors and actions but there is one thing that i know now...and that is we can be extremely happy when we let go of always putting ourselves under a microscope.
How much we let go for our families, friends and mainly for the idea of how we should be...How many sacrifices we make for we think that they might be inappropriate. What if one day you wake up and realize in the constant struggle to make people around you happy you have landed up in a life that others chose for you, and you are not happy with where you are?... What if one day i do actually regret not taking the leap of faith, not letting go of my notions and not allowing myself to be free, actually free?
It is completely ok to be a lil selfish, not think about the repercussions and just let ourselves be...!
This will enable us to live a little more and perhaps just perhaps we might find something perfect for us, we never knew existed.

For you mom....

Wrote this one for mother's day (2013)

For 9 months she held you close
Sat next to you night after night while you dozed
she laughed when you smiled, wept endlessly when you cried
she taught you your first words and the first step to walk
she was your lullaby and even your morning clock
no one could love you more
her heart's filled with love right upto her core
in the dark tunnel she is the guiding light
She is Godsent especially for you
from where she fathoms so much for I have no clue
Give her all your love ,for she is like no other
Of course she is you loving Mother

Musk....

When I see you, I feel love
It's overwhelming and epic..
When I'm all alone with you
It's a strange kind of high that you put me through
I dream of us together
Your lips brushing mine
our breaths together like two souls entwined
my breath against the nape of your neck
your musk fills me, enwraps me in you
as you look at me like no one else could
A chill runs down my spine
as your warmth cuddles me
and you make me yours forever
I cherish this feeling for ever and ever......

The world is not ready for strong women

There's this guy in my class who never fails to mock a girl who 'awws' and 'aahs'. The same guy also dislikes a very strong and opinionated girl I know because, i quote,  'she comes out too strong'.

People talk about Women emancipation and gender equality and feminism but I strongly feel (kindly note the degree of my sentiment- strongly) that the world isn't ready for a steadfast and opinionated woman. Hell! most of the fairy tales have the happy endings - ...and the girl found her prince. Cinderella a poor tormented soul finds a prince. Snow white, again, a poor tortured soul is kissed by her prince charming. I have never heard of a fairy tale where a strong girl supports her man and help him through.
Here are some incidents that have happened to me, my friends, strangers I've observed and stories I've heard. 

#way more male ceos than female ceos 

#a girl being called a beta is a compliment, a son on being called beti is offended 

#We have ladies wearing burqa's in some communities- at least they own upto their actions..Women even in most developed nations are expected to be mellow and soft or they could come out too strong.

#Whenever a girl who is focused on her career is often advised by her parents to take it down a notch 'nahi to baad me dikkat ayegi'

#'kitna bhi pad likh lo ek ladki ko shaant hona he chahiye and apne partner ki shadow me rehna ana chahiye' - trust me I've seen this happening to a friend who wanted to start up her business at 27 instead of getting married. 

#and then there is the bichari aurat who earns more than her husband and can not be proud of the cheque she earns coz let's face it the male ego IS very high

#when a woman is chosen over a man for a promotion we often hear the cliche' which has already crossed your mind so needless to say

#Now a female student's tragedy : You are intelligent and smart - ladkiyon ko to mil he jate hain. You get recruited- ladkiyon ka to qutoa hota hai.... so basically no matter hard you've tried tumhe to waise bhi mil he jana tha.

#Men are threatened by stronger women they prefer someone whom they can protect and take care of, not who is capable of taking care of herself and of her partner too.

......to all my beautiful women out there who stand up for themselves, are courageous, steadfast, bold, intelligent, street-smart, opinionated and ambitious

the world isn't ready for you.. we must learn to live in men's shadows' and take it down a notch
maybe in another 100 years we can hope to be equals .

A HNY...!!!

                               

                                               "You showed me faith is not blind
                                                I don't need wings to help me fly
                                                Miracles happen once in a while
                                                When you believe...!!!"

jotted down a few lines for my college fest. Whenever I feel low I read them and feel rejuvenated. Hope they do the same for you

Rise and shine is what we urge you to,
Appraise the world, for we know it's within you
Rise up to the clouds and make it rain
join us let not the efforts go in vain
apprise the world, for we are coming now
we'll make a difference and you'll see how!!

Believe in you.
Do as you please.

                                     Live for that man in the mirror!

xoxo
Sonakshi